Monday will bring the official start to our homeschooling adventures! Because nothing is normal with us, their materials are not yet in and Emily isn't 100% setup yet. While I started the process of registering her back in March, the school that we are using could not officially register her until they held an IEP meeting (Individual Education Plan) for her. Since we are using a county school program, they wanted to speak to her teacher's and support staff from last year. School is starting on Monday, but we only had her IEP meeting today! We met today with her teacher, her school occupational and physical therapists, her hospital homebound teacher, and the ESE teacher. (Special education). We had someone from the county homeschool section on speaker phone. In the past she has struggled with math due to the excessive absences from medical conditions. At first our school staff didn't seem sure that this could be good for us, but in the end I think that they were all impressed with what this homebound opportunity has to present.
Because I am not a good teacher, I never really thought that I could do something like this. I was very worried about teaching a traditional home school curriculum, mostly because it lacked teacher support. Perhaps we will stay with this, or perhaps we will eventually move to a different curriculum. Time is on our side. Or, if homeschooling does not prove to be a good fit for us, by using this county program, she will be easily transitioned back into her old school. I really appreciate that. I think that this will be perfect but just in case...
Once we're able to start I think I will be happy with it. The program that we are using is Calvert Academy. It's a private homeschooler that also works with counties. Not only is this partially an online program but there are also books and bookwork. When we started talking about homeschooling, I asked my children if they would prefer all online or a blend. This blend should meet their needs, keep them engaged, but also be flexible enough for our hospital trips to not interfere in their education. Where a traditional school will keep moving and Emily would have to fight to catch up, this new option will start back up where she left off. I really, really appreciate that. This truly seems as though it will be a perfect fit for us. I hope so. Oh, and we'll still have field trips. They say it's usually about one a month.
The only worrisome part thus far is that, not only is Emily not 100% set yet but we haven't gotten Zachary's material yet. I am really hoping that we can at least start the online parts on Monday, but I also don't want to get so far ahead that they are backtracking with the worksheets. Either way, we'll get it done. I am so excited for this opportunity!!! I really hope that this is as perfect as it sounds.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
The Rain
One of the most perfect times for me happens to be when it is raining. Last night was a wonderfully rainy evening. I lay in my bed, alternating between talking quietly to my husband and starting to fall asleep when it started. It began as a gentle pitter-patter, falling lightly enough to cleanse the area. Soon enough it became a raging storm, roaring through the house and pounding outside with great intensity. My little man, always afraid of a good storm, came to ask me if he could sleep in the living room. I got him settled and went to lay down with him. It is such a sweet, loving time cuddling my boy. I know that these moments won't last forever; I want to hang onto them for as long as possible. I love how fragile he is, how sensitive and sweet. He is still comforted greatly just by my presence. Oh, if only I could always protect him like I can now! I know that one day he will no longer be afraid of the rain. Perhaps one day it will fail to affect me as it does now. But I will always fondly look back on moments like this when it rains.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Disappointed in myself- A little vent
Yes, I am disappointed. Mostly I am disappointed in myself. While I have enjoyed my Comp class, I have tried hard to enjoy my math. When I understand math, I can find it fun actually. When I don't understand it and I have nowhere to turn..... not so much. I had discussed with my husband a few weeks ago how lost I felt. Again, I had no idea that summer courses were half of a regular semester. My math skills, or lack thereof, really need a full 16 weeks to blossom. I know that I will get it; the question became more how quickly. The answer? Not quickly enough. I am looking forward to repeating that class next semester.
It's okay! While I am disappointed, I also know that I worked harder at this than I thought possible. I devoted whole days at a time to math. I did learn a LOT. Unfortunately, it was learned very quickly, and some was forgotten because the concepts were finally grasped as the next chapter began. <Sigh>
I didn't expect this to be easy. However, I expected that it would be easier. I truly feel as though this is what God wants me to do. Eventually becoming a specialist in my children's disabilities will not only help to serve them, but I also feel that I am supposed to go on a missions trip to India one day and help people there. While I would rather go to Peru, or almost anywhere else, I feel like India is where I am supposed to go.
I am thankful for my writing. I truly feel that I write better than I speak. I swear, while speaking I feel so scattered, I never seem to say the right thing, I never know what to say, and I'm either talking too quickly or sometimes I start stuttering. I put my heart into writing, no matter what I write about. I know that I am far from the best writer, or the most organized or pulled-together, but it is such a huge part of me.
When I was a child I wrote a LOT. I wrote songs, I wrote poetry, and I started writing a book. As a mom, I seemed to forget about writing until my daughter got sick. Then it became a way of venting because so few people understood the severity of her conditions, or even why it was a big deal to me. While that should be a no-brainer, people seemed genuinely stumped about my sadness for her. So I began to write again as an outlet. Next thing I knew, I had a group of other mother's that were going through the same things that also blogged. And then I had people that had children that were just diagnosed that reached out to me for help. I realized that there was power in writing. I could help people, I could educate people, I could help to change the perceptions of the disease, and I could fight back against the diseases that threatened my child. When I started my writing journey, I started it as a very depressed mother that could not seem to find hope in anything. Between my writing, my church, and my amazing family, I rose above the depression that fought to overtake me to become the person that I am today. Writing isn't just a class for me; it is my life. While it can be difficult to write in a different form than I usually use, it was exciting to explore different ways to write, and it was great to learn how to properly credit people. I don't think that I have ever not given someone proper credit, but it is nice to know that I was doing things pretty well. It was also nice to learn how to create a bibliography. Tedious? Yes. Complicated? Oh my gosh, yes! But it was a great lesson.
So now I will continue on knowing a little more, thinking about how I write things more, contemplating different word choices more, but likely enjoying writing a little more every day.
It's okay! While I am disappointed, I also know that I worked harder at this than I thought possible. I devoted whole days at a time to math. I did learn a LOT. Unfortunately, it was learned very quickly, and some was forgotten because the concepts were finally grasped as the next chapter began. <Sigh>
I didn't expect this to be easy. However, I expected that it would be easier. I truly feel as though this is what God wants me to do. Eventually becoming a specialist in my children's disabilities will not only help to serve them, but I also feel that I am supposed to go on a missions trip to India one day and help people there. While I would rather go to Peru, or almost anywhere else, I feel like India is where I am supposed to go.
I am thankful for my writing. I truly feel that I write better than I speak. I swear, while speaking I feel so scattered, I never seem to say the right thing, I never know what to say, and I'm either talking too quickly or sometimes I start stuttering. I put my heart into writing, no matter what I write about. I know that I am far from the best writer, or the most organized or pulled-together, but it is such a huge part of me.
When I was a child I wrote a LOT. I wrote songs, I wrote poetry, and I started writing a book. As a mom, I seemed to forget about writing until my daughter got sick. Then it became a way of venting because so few people understood the severity of her conditions, or even why it was a big deal to me. While that should be a no-brainer, people seemed genuinely stumped about my sadness for her. So I began to write again as an outlet. Next thing I knew, I had a group of other mother's that were going through the same things that also blogged. And then I had people that had children that were just diagnosed that reached out to me for help. I realized that there was power in writing. I could help people, I could educate people, I could help to change the perceptions of the disease, and I could fight back against the diseases that threatened my child. When I started my writing journey, I started it as a very depressed mother that could not seem to find hope in anything. Between my writing, my church, and my amazing family, I rose above the depression that fought to overtake me to become the person that I am today. Writing isn't just a class for me; it is my life. While it can be difficult to write in a different form than I usually use, it was exciting to explore different ways to write, and it was great to learn how to properly credit people. I don't think that I have ever not given someone proper credit, but it is nice to know that I was doing things pretty well. It was also nice to learn how to create a bibliography. Tedious? Yes. Complicated? Oh my gosh, yes! But it was a great lesson.
So now I will continue on knowing a little more, thinking about how I write things more, contemplating different word choices more, but likely enjoying writing a little more every day.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Reasons to try harder :)
Well, I got my first essay grade back. I got a 'B'. No, it isn't bad. BUT... I had hoped for better. I had a few problems. One was my MLA format, which I thought that I had correct. I will have to ask for clarification on that. Problem number two was a bit of a lack of focus. The biggest problem was problem three. And I almost have to laugh at this.
I swear, some days I feel thought challenged, like nothing makes sense. Perhaps it is because of how much I am juggling, or maybe just a blonde moment. In any case, I pulled a good one. Somehow, when I read the directions, I read that we had to pick a moment, and that the entire time limit spent writing the essay should be between a half hour and an hour. The real directions were to pick one moment that happened in a matter of a half hour to an hour. OH!!! Yeah, that's a little different. It's times like these that I wonder what the heck was I thinking???
Worse than that, after I turned in my final paper, I thought of the PERFECT moment. Had I gone with this moment instead, I would have avoided several problems. I agonized for days between my mother's cancer diagnosis, my father's heart attack, or when my daughter first encountered a dolphin. My husband and I thought about the trip with the dolphin, but neither of us could remember enough details. What I should have written about happened during that same trip! That week was the week of my daughter Emily's Make A Wish trip. That week we stayed at Give Kids the World village. While there were many special moments, when we saw Emily's star up on the ceiling for the first time, it took my breath away and made all of us feel so emotional. The whole idea of this just makes you think. While my child has a life threatening disease, while her medications are dangerous and put her at risk, she is not terminal. There are many children that visit the village that are terminal. Each sick child places a star, and it stays there. Forever. The families are always allowed to come visit- especially those who have a fallen angel; they are allowed to go back to visit the star. Just thinking about this still makes me cry! Seeing all of those stars up there on that ceiling makes you question how many of those sick children are still here, and it makes you stop and think. This was a beautiful, touching, special, emotional moment for our family. I will remember this for the next essay based on one moment. Perhaps I will write more about it later. It's a hard topic to write about.
I swear, some days I feel thought challenged, like nothing makes sense. Perhaps it is because of how much I am juggling, or maybe just a blonde moment. In any case, I pulled a good one. Somehow, when I read the directions, I read that we had to pick a moment, and that the entire time limit spent writing the essay should be between a half hour and an hour. The real directions were to pick one moment that happened in a matter of a half hour to an hour. OH!!! Yeah, that's a little different. It's times like these that I wonder what the heck was I thinking???
Worse than that, after I turned in my final paper, I thought of the PERFECT moment. Had I gone with this moment instead, I would have avoided several problems. I agonized for days between my mother's cancer diagnosis, my father's heart attack, or when my daughter first encountered a dolphin. My husband and I thought about the trip with the dolphin, but neither of us could remember enough details. What I should have written about happened during that same trip! That week was the week of my daughter Emily's Make A Wish trip. That week we stayed at Give Kids the World village. While there were many special moments, when we saw Emily's star up on the ceiling for the first time, it took my breath away and made all of us feel so emotional. The whole idea of this just makes you think. While my child has a life threatening disease, while her medications are dangerous and put her at risk, she is not terminal. There are many children that visit the village that are terminal. Each sick child places a star, and it stays there. Forever. The families are always allowed to come visit- especially those who have a fallen angel; they are allowed to go back to visit the star. Just thinking about this still makes me cry! Seeing all of those stars up there on that ceiling makes you question how many of those sick children are still here, and it makes you stop and think. This was a beautiful, touching, special, emotional moment for our family. I will remember this for the next essay based on one moment. Perhaps I will write more about it later. It's a hard topic to write about.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Oops!
I am the type of person that admits my mistakes. It may not always be the smartest move, but I at least have a clear conscience.
I admit- I completely forgot the MAIN rule of our narrative composition essay assignment. I whipped out a quick rough draft that I was pretty happy with. The more time that went by, I felt that I had missed the point of the piece. It is to be based around one moment. I felt that my one moment was kind of missed and I was sure that I could do it better if I re-wrote it. Completely forgetting the half hour to hour time limit, I started over. It wasn't until I saw the notice posted that people who went over the hour time limit would be penalized that I realized my error. Ah, I am so glad that we can learn from our mistakes! Yes, I will likely get points off, but I accept that because I deserve it. I will also ensure that I will do better next time.
This assignment has been difficult for me. I really am having a difficult time writing details. I have just been so consumed with medical details that I forgot about life details at some point. This has really made me look at things in a different way, but I still feel a little lost. What made this paper more challenging was the 600-800 word limit. The tutor that reviewed my paper suggested including more details, anecdotes and stories. My paper was at 768 words when I turned it into the tutor. I saw the advice and somewhat panicked. How can I do that with so few precious words left to use? I have spent the past two days pondering my paper. I have made some revisions, however I do not feel that they are enough. I am at a stop, not knowing what I should do next.
Again I have to laugh because when I was in high school, while I did not mind doing well, I certainly did not strive to do well. I really was a terrible student. Suddenly, school is all that I think about. While I am definitely being challenged as a student, person, parent, and employee, I am actually enjoying this. I am even kind of glad that I waited until now. Here I am, I just turned 37 only six days into my first semester ever of college. And I am ready to take on the world. From the kid that couldn't stick to anything to a woman that has been working for the same company since 1995, I am happy that the time is now. Am I overwhelmed? A little bit, but it is getting easier every day. I think that if I can get through this semester, I can do anything. I am praying that I can do this with the strength, wisdom, and knowledge of the good Lord with me at all times, for I know that I can do all things through Him. This is His plan for me, and I will complete it in faith for Him. Now if only I can do well enough to possibly get into medical school. While I don't think I want to be an actual doctor anymore, it would be nice to have the option in a few years. :)
I admit- I completely forgot the MAIN rule of our narrative composition essay assignment. I whipped out a quick rough draft that I was pretty happy with. The more time that went by, I felt that I had missed the point of the piece. It is to be based around one moment. I felt that my one moment was kind of missed and I was sure that I could do it better if I re-wrote it. Completely forgetting the half hour to hour time limit, I started over. It wasn't until I saw the notice posted that people who went over the hour time limit would be penalized that I realized my error. Ah, I am so glad that we can learn from our mistakes! Yes, I will likely get points off, but I accept that because I deserve it. I will also ensure that I will do better next time.
This assignment has been difficult for me. I really am having a difficult time writing details. I have just been so consumed with medical details that I forgot about life details at some point. This has really made me look at things in a different way, but I still feel a little lost. What made this paper more challenging was the 600-800 word limit. The tutor that reviewed my paper suggested including more details, anecdotes and stories. My paper was at 768 words when I turned it into the tutor. I saw the advice and somewhat panicked. How can I do that with so few precious words left to use? I have spent the past two days pondering my paper. I have made some revisions, however I do not feel that they are enough. I am at a stop, not knowing what I should do next.
Again I have to laugh because when I was in high school, while I did not mind doing well, I certainly did not strive to do well. I really was a terrible student. Suddenly, school is all that I think about. While I am definitely being challenged as a student, person, parent, and employee, I am actually enjoying this. I am even kind of glad that I waited until now. Here I am, I just turned 37 only six days into my first semester ever of college. And I am ready to take on the world. From the kid that couldn't stick to anything to a woman that has been working for the same company since 1995, I am happy that the time is now. Am I overwhelmed? A little bit, but it is getting easier every day. I think that if I can get through this semester, I can do anything. I am praying that I can do this with the strength, wisdom, and knowledge of the good Lord with me at all times, for I know that I can do all things through Him. This is His plan for me, and I will complete it in faith for Him. Now if only I can do well enough to possibly get into medical school. While I don't think I want to be an actual doctor anymore, it would be nice to have the option in a few years. :)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Oh, how I love a good exclamation point!
Oh, I really do love exclamation points. Yes, I am often rather excited, so I tend to use them quite often. I suppose the question to ask myself would be, how do I make a sentence sound exciting without the use of an exclamation point? I do believe that I will have to make this one of my goals.
I also take issue with commas, but in a different way. Try as I may, when I read about proper comma placement in punctuation, it just never seems to stick. I often feel as though I overuse commas. I have read through quite a bit of the chapter, but apparently I need to read through a few more times. I actually printed it, wasting a LOT of ink the way that it printed. I suspect it was my view that caused it to go awry. If I could copy and paste it into a PDF or Word document I would be overjoyed! Alas, that is not to be.
After messing up several things this week, not being quite as organized as I would have liked, and feeling like I need another twenty hours added to my average day, I feel as though I am at least making a decent start. No, I don't think that I will ever study enough to satisfy me, and I really wish that I could remember some more of my math skills, but it is a start. I love new beginnings! The week has been filled with chaos, frustration, rage, happiness, peace, and love. New beginnings are not supposed to come easily, are they? I would hope not. Would it really be as much fun if it were easy? I think not. I am certain that in another week or two I will be able to feel as I did on Tuesday. "I've got this." I may not become an "A" student overnight, but I will certainly try! In the meantime, I will do the best that I can to learn from my mistakes.
I also take issue with commas, but in a different way. Try as I may, when I read about proper comma placement in punctuation, it just never seems to stick. I often feel as though I overuse commas. I have read through quite a bit of the chapter, but apparently I need to read through a few more times. I actually printed it, wasting a LOT of ink the way that it printed. I suspect it was my view that caused it to go awry. If I could copy and paste it into a PDF or Word document I would be overjoyed! Alas, that is not to be.
After messing up several things this week, not being quite as organized as I would have liked, and feeling like I need another twenty hours added to my average day, I feel as though I am at least making a decent start. No, I don't think that I will ever study enough to satisfy me, and I really wish that I could remember some more of my math skills, but it is a start. I love new beginnings! The week has been filled with chaos, frustration, rage, happiness, peace, and love. New beginnings are not supposed to come easily, are they? I would hope not. Would it really be as much fun if it were easy? I think not. I am certain that in another week or two I will be able to feel as I did on Tuesday. "I've got this." I may not become an "A" student overnight, but I will certainly try! In the meantime, I will do the best that I can to learn from my mistakes.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Revelations
I realized two things last night. Number one is that, like at work, I don't think that I will ever feel like I've studied enough. I was such a terrible student when I was young. I love that I want this so badly that I could not work hard enough to satisfy myself. I will have to find a balance with family and relaxation, though.
I also realize how spoiled I have been. As a blogger that writes about medical stuff and events that are close to my heart, I realize how little I have had to use my imagination to write. I write often, I write to vent, I write to make sense of things. I cannot remember the last time that I wrote a story or poem. I have not really had to be descriptive or think about word choice for a very long time. That makes me appreciate more having to write stories that are out of my comfort zone.
Off to bed now. I worked an 8 hour day and studied for 5. Math is my true nemesis, but it will not beat me!!!
I also realize how spoiled I have been. As a blogger that writes about medical stuff and events that are close to my heart, I realize how little I have had to use my imagination to write. I write often, I write to vent, I write to make sense of things. I cannot remember the last time that I wrote a story or poem. I have not really had to be descriptive or think about word choice for a very long time. That makes me appreciate more having to write stories that are out of my comfort zone.
Off to bed now. I worked an 8 hour day and studied for 5. Math is my true nemesis, but it will not beat me!!!
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